The Situation
You’re in a position where you hear continual praise and appreciation for the work you do. You hear it in 1:1s, you see it in Slack, and it even shows up in your performance review. It may trigger endorphins, but then compensation adjustments hit and you get a standard bump in pay but no promotion; no meaningful increase in scope or authority.
Even worse, if/when layoffs happen, the people who were never outwardly praised are still there.
The Game
Praise and admiration are cheap, which is why they’re used so often. When compensation is constrained in an org, praise is a strategic and cheap lever used to:
- Maintain morale without increasing cost. You can acknowledge effort without committing to a reward.
- Retain high performers just enough to keep them engaged. This can turn into acclimation of the hedonic treadmill where we are addicted to praise from withholding management.
What’s crazy is that this tactic does work. When work gets stressful and someone’s putting in all-nighters, a strategically received praise can justify the effort and sacrifice that went into the work. But actual rewards – raises, promotions, and protection – are really tied to:
- Direct, measurable impact on the business.
- Replaceability (or lack of it).
- Alignment with leadership’s priorities.
- Timing (budgets, headcount, or market conditions).
Many get caught in a common trap, where you’re valued emotionally but not economically. And when pressure hits (budget cuts, layoffs), the system optimizes for: cost reduction and “essential” roles – not sentiment.
The Principle
Praise is not compensation; it’s a substitute for it. If your impact doesn’t show up in the numbers, or pose a business risk in its absence, then it won’t be protected.
The Framework
Stop asking:
- “Do they value me?”
Start asking:
- “How does my work directly affect revenue, cost, or risk?”
- “Can my impact be clearly quantified and attributed to me?”
- “If I left tomorrow, what measurable metric would move?”
- “Who depends on my work, and do they have power?”
- “Am I being merely thanked, or actively invested in?”
- “Would the business pay more to keep me, or simply replace me?”
Praise answers none of these questions.
The Options
Option A: Safe/Low Upside.
Accept the praise and continue doing as you were.
- Continue performing.
- Take recognition as validation.
- Wait for rewards to follow.
Outcome: You feel appreciated, but your compensation and trajectory stay expectedly flat.
Option B: Strategic/Balanced.
Translate praise into measurable value.
- Tie your work explicitly to business outcomes.
- Quantify results (revenue, retention, cost savings).
- Bring those metrics into compensation and promotion conversations.
Outcome: You convert goodwill into an objective case that can actually be funded.
Option C: Aggressive/High Risk.
Leverage external validation.
- Get market signals (offers, recruiter interest).
- Use them to anchor your value internally.
- Force a compensation conversation tied to real alternatives.
Outcome: High chance of increasing compensation or accelerating a decision.
Risk: They let you walk.
Option D: Exit/Reset.
Move to a system that pays for what you deliver.
- Find a role where impact and compensation are tightly coupled.
- Reset your baseline rather than negotiating from a soft position.
Outcome: You stop trading performance for compliments.
The Recommendation
Most people default to Option A, because praise feels like progress and this option gives you the most hope. But this isn’t true progress.
- If your goal is feeling valued → Option A.
- If your goal is getting paid and protected → Option B is essential.
- If your goal is maximizing compensation quickly → Options C or D can be a risk worth taking.
The Takeaway
Organizations reward what they can measure and justify. Praise is what they give you when they don’t want to pay you.